


Gravity

by Braincoins



Series: Shallura Holiday Month 2017 [9]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, SHM 2017, Shallura Holiday Month, so I'ma count this for day 13 too because I'm lazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 21:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12993276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Braincoins/pseuds/Braincoins
Summary: He looked at the clone.Monster, he thought.You didn’t mean to be, didn’t even want to be, but that’s what you are.He couldn’t help thinking that perhaps he and this clone had more in common after all.





	Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 12's "Irreplaceable" prompt as well as Day 13's "Hurt/Comfort"  
> ==============================

            Shiro stared at himself.

            No, it wasn’t him, but the resemblance was uncanny. It made his skin crawl, looking at this him-but-not person in the stasis pod.

            They hadn’t had a choice but to put him in stasis. In his lucid moments, he was a confused and lost soul, aware that he was meant for evil but unwilling to act on it. But his lucid moments were growing fewer; the Galra Empire’s programming was too strong for him to fight. There was worry that Zarkon’s minions were using the clone to spy on them, even when his programming wasn’t active. This was the only safe option.

            But Shiro hated seeing him in there, in the pod right next to where Sendak’s had been. He avoided looking at the empty pod-chute. He tried not to hear Sendak’s – or the Castle’s? – voice in his head, but it was hard. It seemed to echo in the otherwise empty room. _“Do you really think a monster like you could be a Voltron paladin?!”_

            He looked at the clone. _Monster_ , he thought. _You didn’t mean to be, didn’t even want to be, but that’s what you are._ He couldn’t help thinking that perhaps he and this clone had more in common after all.

            He eyed the eject button. Emotions surged up in him: confusion, frustration, anger, fear, panic… and guilt. He looked back to the clone. It’d be so easy to be rid of him, to have the reminder gone.

            Shiro turned away before he could succumb to the temptation to repeat his mistake, before he could prove just how monstrous he could be.

            The doors opened before he was in range of them, and Princess Allura stepped in. “Shiro. I thought I might find you here.”

            “Princess,” he said, greeting her with a nod, “How can I help you?”

            “I’m here to help you,” she told him. Her voice was gentle, almost… apologetic? No, that wasn’t it. It was like she was afraid of startling him, like he might bolt or… _or lash out? Are you afraid of me now, too?_ He couldn’t blame her if she was, but the thought sent a chill through him. It took a lot to stand there and look pleasantly curious instead of showing how afr- …worried he was.

            “I’m fine,” he reassured her.

            She cocked her head a little. “Are you? Be honest with me.”

            “I am honestly fine,” he insisted, softening it with a smile he hoped looked more genuine than it felt. “But I should probably…” He wasn’t sure what he was going to say; the important thing was to move past her to the door, to leave this room, to get away from here before…

            But she moved to block his exit, reaching out and taking his hand. “Shiro.” He twitched a little, actually tried to jerk away from her, because it was his right hand that she had hold of, and he didn’t want her to touch it, didn’t want her to put herself in danger like that. But she had tight hold and refused to let go. When he looked at her face, she was smiling softly.

            “Stop worrying. You’re not him.” She didn’t clarify. She didn’t have to. “He’s not you.”

            Shiro swallowed hard. “No, he’s not,” he agreed. “He’s…”

            “He’s…?” she prompted.

            He made himself look away from her, tried to ignore his heart thudding in his chest, screaming loudly for him to escape somehow. “Nothing, nevermind.”

            “Shiro, please. I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.” And the softness in her voice had been replaced with the hard edge of her stubbornness. Somehow, that was worse; it made him _more_ protective of her because he knew – _he KNEW_ – that once she’d set her mind on something, she would see it through no matter the risk to herself.

            Sendak’s taunting voice was replaced in his mind with the sound of Allura’s scream.

            He closed his eyes. “Please, don’t do this.”

            “I want to help you,” she insisted. “But you have to tell me how to do that. Are you upset that we believed him to be you?”

            “No, no. It’s not that. I understand that.”

            “Then what is it? Tell me, or I won’t let go. You’ve been avoiding us all since you got back, since the fight with the clone. We need you, Shiro.” She reached her free hand up to press against his cheek gently. “I need you to talk to me.” And her tone was soft again, almost pleading as she said, “Please?”

            _Dammit._ He knew he couldn’t say no to her when she sounded like that. He wanted to, badly, but there was an ache in her voice that he had to soothe. He turned his face back to hers, swallowed hard again, and licked his lips.

            “He’s what I could have been. He’s… he’s the monster, th-the weapon the Galra Empire wanted me to be. And it hurts even more to know he’s fighting it. He’s not evil; we can’t just kill him. But we can’t set him free, either. He’s trapped – by us, by the Empire, by...” His eyes darted away. “…by the darkness within him.”

            “Oh, Shiro.” Her thumb stroked his cheek softly. “It’s terrible what they’ve done, there’s no doubt, but you _are not_ him. You are not a monster, and you are not a weapon.”

            “How can you say that?” he asked tightly.

            “Because I know you, Shiro. The clone might have your face, your body, even your voice, but,” her hand dropped away from his face only to reappear on his chest, “but no one else could have your heart.”

            That wasn’t helping his heartbeat. She could likely feel it now, with her hand right over it, and it was starting to thump with something other than fear. _I have to tell her. But how can I? How can I say this now, here, after all of this?_

            He risked opening his eyes. His gaze flew to her face instantly, but she was just smiling reassuringly up at him. _She has to know._ “Y-you’re wrong,” he started out shakily.

            Her brow furrowed. “Shiro…” she started to protest.

            He shook his head. “Listen to me, please.” She closed her mouth. “I know what you meant. I appreciate that more than I can really express. But, when you say no one else could have my heart? You’re wrong.” He raised his free hand to hers on his chest and pressed it lightly to keep it there. “Because…” _She has to know_ , he reminded himself. He took a deep breath and forced the words out as he stared into her eyes. “…because _you_ have my heart.”

            Her eyes widened, her smile faded, and she sucked in a breath. He wasn’t sure how to take that, but he knew he had to get it all out now. _She has to understand._

“I’ve been falling for you from the moment I first saw you. I just didn’t realize… We were so busy, there were always so many distractions. Watching you get captured by the Galra on that mission in the transportation hub hurt, but I didn’t really realize how far gone I was until the Castle was blasted in that last battle against Zarkon. The last thing I heard before the comms cut out was you screaming, and it just… it tore through me like I was tissue paper. I’ve never had a wound in any battle that hurt me as much as that did.

            “And I realized it all over again when I finally saw you alive and safe again. The relief that washed over me was better than any balm, any medicine, any amount of time in the cryo-replenisher. Seeing you standing there, it… _restored_ me.”

            He paused to steady himself for the finale. “I don’t know if I’m a monster or not, Allura. But I know that I love you. I know that I don’t ever, _ever_ want to hurt you. And I’m so afraid that I will. That I might without meaning to.” He squeezed her left hand with his right, still trapped in her grip. “I don’t want to hurt anyone on the Castle. And that’s why I’ve been staying away. That man in the stasis pod… he’s all my worst fears brought to life, Allura.”

            She started breathing again. “You could never be him, just as he could never truly be you. My point stands: no one else could be you but you. And I know that because even when I thought he was you, something just… felt off. I thought perhaps I had imagined it before, that maybe I had started leaning on you too much, but you’ve shown me I was right.”

            “Imagined… what?”

            Her smile returned, brighter than ever. “I was falling for you, too, before.”

            Now it was Shiro’s turn to stop breathing.

            She continued, “But when you came back – when I thought it was you – you were so much more distant. Still willing to help, still willing to fight, but the bond I’d felt developing between us seemed to have been severed. Because he wasn’t you. These feelings for you are how I know you’re really you. And I trust you, Shiro.” She raised his right hand to her lips to kiss the back of it. “I trust you with my life.”

            Breath returned all at once as he protested, “But you shouldn’t.”

            “Too bad. I do. You have proven trustworthy, loyal, brave, and kind. You are not a monster, Shiro, and you are not a weapon.” She stepped closer to him. “You are the man I love. The one and only in all the universe.”

            He wanted to protest further, to convince her, but his eyes were already falling closed as she leaned in towards him. He was drawn into her inescapably, like gravity, and his fate was sealed with their first kiss. He couldn’t leave her now. _If I am to be a monster, let me be hers to command, and not the Empire’s_ , he thought, wrapping her up in his arms.

            When her lips were free again, she whispered, “Come back to me. Come back to _us_. We all need you, Shiro.”

            He nodded. “Okay.”

            “And I will be beside you, my love, and there is nothing to fear. Not even yourself.” The look on her face was that same steady determination he’d seen in her almost immediately upon awakening from a ten-thousand-year sleep. “We will fight with you against any enemy – even your own demons.”

            “Promise.” He meant it to be a question, but it came out rough, like a childish demand.

            “I promise,” she declared, and kissed him again. “Now come on. The team needs you. The _universe_ needs you and only you, Shiro. Let’s go.” She had that semi-smirk she got sometimes when she was ready to kick ass.

            He felt warm and secure for the first time in ages. He took her hand again – with his right – and squeezed it gently. She squeezed back and tugged him towards the door. He didn’t look back as she led him out, back to his friends.


End file.
